Ai-je vraiment envie de me battre contre ça ? - lagrandemymy - veut vivre plutôt qu'exister... - Cowblog

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Ai-je vraiment envie de me battre contre ça ?

Lundi 5 février 2007 à 20:56

Je vais adopter son mode d'expression préféré : le silence.

Je vais baisser les armes et accepter ? Partir en laissant tout derrière moi ? Peux tu vraiment me me demander ? Là n'est pas la question puisque tu ne t'en prives pas. J'ai cru attendre ce jour là toute ma vie durant et quand je l'ai trouvé une première fois, je suis tombée. La seconde je n'ai pas voulu me relever. Et pour la troisème.. pour la troisième les possibilités sont (trop) nombreuses.
Je suis une loque. Tu l'as vu, elle l'a vu . Vous savez comme moi pourquoi..
Mes repères foutent le camp, c'est une toute nouvelle donne désormais. Je ne la maîtrise pas.

Mais merde qu'est ce que tu fous dans mon avenir ? Je l'avais pourtant trouvé, du moins je le croyais. Abondonné une voie, mis de l'eau dans mon vin pour une autre, sans penser à ce qu'il y avait autour, et voilà que ces infimes détails prennent une importance considérable, essayant d'étouffer le reste. Ai-je vraiment envie de me battre contre ça ?
Personne ne va décider à ma place. Rien n'est le mieux pour moi. Je vais avoir mal, plus encore, et je continue à courir comme je n'ai jamais couru vers ma destruction.

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