Et mon Doudou. Le mien ? - lagrandemymy - veut vivre plutôt qu'exister... - Cowblog

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Et mon Doudou. Le mien ?

Dimanche 7 septembre 2008 à 17:10

Vous y arriverez, un jour, bien sûr. A vous parler sans vous faire mal. A vous regarder. A ne plus avoir peur. De Vous. Pour de bon vous arrêterez de vous aimer. Vous ne vous contemplerez plus dans le passé, vous saurez voir devant. Et si vous devez à nouveau vous aimer ce sera en reprenant tout à zéro. Mais ça je n'y crois pas trop. Vous y arriverez, vous garderez le sourire, vous poserez le mot fin sur la dernière page de l'histoire. Sauf que moi... Est-ce que je réussirai un jour à regarder l'un sans voir l'autre ? Sans voir les douleurs de l'autre ? Sans voir ses propres douleurs ? Sans voir les miennes ? Est-ce qu'un jour je pourrai me dire qu'il n'y a décidément aucun choix à faire. Est-ce que mon sourire pourra aller de paire avec l'un sans trahir l'autre ? Non. Je ne pense pas. Il faudrait donc que mon bonheur arrête de dépendre d'un bonheur commun. Issu de l'un ou de l'autre d'entre vous. L'idéal serait de partir. Vous quitter. Je dois m'enfuir. Votre sauvetage me paraît impossible. J'ai toujours pensé qu'en touchant le fond vous donneriez cette fameuse impulsion. Le pied sur le sable dur qui vous permettrait de remonter vers la surface. Aujourd'hui je ne sais pas si ça a été fait. Je ne veux pas vivre dans la crainte de son attente. Je dois m'enfuir. Ça ne sauvera personne pourtant. Au moins j'en serai sûre. Bordel. Je vous aime. J'en crève que vous aimiez. Que nous aimions. Que tu aimes, au pluriel. C'est le "tu", le pluriel.

Our lifes to be over...

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Par PetiteBridget le Mardi 9 septembre 2008 à 22:42

On y a tous le droit.

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