Assis sur un banc de bois clair, levant les yeux sur ces voûtes trop
hautes pour que nous les entendions. La fumée se diffuse dans
l'assemblée et tente d'asphixier peu à peu nos idées. Ce n'est pas
notre place. On joint les mains mais pas à leur manière. Nous cela
signifie quelque chose de vrai, de voulu, ça n'est pas un dogme dicté
et imposé. On est en train de se créer, de s'inventer l'un pour l'autre.
Un geste, on se comprend, une inclinaison et on se décide.
Je m'étais préparée il y a des mois de cela il me semble. Préparée à
abandonner, à renier ce qui s'insérait si bien dans l'habitude.
Pourtant à l'intérieur de cette même habitude je savais que je ne serai
jamais entièrement prête à vivre et à croire comme nous le faisions.
Mes propres réactions m'étonnent car bien que sachant ne pas être à la
hauteur je me trouve incapable de ne pas être surprise de la vitesse à
laquelle bat mon coeur.
Mes mercis, mes pardons, mes s'il te plaît te sont tous adressés.
Et puis il pleuvait, j'ai failli me casser la figure, c'était beau, c'était loin.
J'ai désormais un moyen.
Dimanche 25 mars 2007 à 22:30
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