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Retour : Marie.

Samedi 23 février 2008 à 21:12

Un peu de ton sourire. Me mettre sur la pointe des pieds pour te faire la bise. Toi tu ne t'attends à rien, tu ne désires rien, tu te contentes de sourire et d'exister. Curieusement cela suffit à tous. Ou presque.
J'aimerais te voir violent, déçu, triste, autrement qu'avec cette fiabilité qui te caractérise. Je rêve de conversations enflammées, intéressées, dures, fortes, pas de cette gentillesse polie comme si elle était prévue dans ton contrat.
Tu es tellement bien que je crois que tu en deviens inintéressant. Une surface, un mur lisse sur lequel je ne trouve pas une seule prise. Alors je cherche le moindre enfoncement, le moindre caillou qui se serait détaché de la paroi en libérant un espace, aussi infime soit-il.
Non. Tu réfléchis la lumière et seule ton absence peut faire mal, et encore, dans une moindre mesure puisque tu ne fais rien pour que les gens s'attachent à toi.
Mais voilà, c'est peut-être parce que je ne crois pas être les gens, parce que selon les théories en vogues, on tombe toujours amoureuse du contraire du dernier (ne répétons pas les mêmes erreurs), bref, moi je m'attache.

*
Finalement je pourrais changer le prénom masculin.
Mais ça ne serait encore qu'une passage.
Marre de ne pas réussir à trouver le bon.
Marre de voir l'histoire se répéter. En fait je n'ai plus besoin d'écrire : il suffit de fouiller mes archives.

Commentaires

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Par Le.Journal.De.Sophie le Samedi 23 février 2008 à 21:21

Tu parles des garçons ? Si c'est ça, ça tombe bien, j'écris là-dessus.

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