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Where there is a secret pleasure there are always secret fears.

Samedi 4 octobre 2008 à 22:49

Il y a des soirs comme ça où l'on aimerait pouvoir s'oublier. Pouvoir oublier aussi tous les conseils, toutes les recommandations. Ne penser à rien. Laisser venir les bons souvenirs, comme des automatisme, des bulles d'air qui remontent vers la surface. Les bons souvenirs et les rêveries. Quoiqu'ils en disent. Après tout, c'est une manière de se donner des envies, et les envies des objectifs. Ou juste une manière de s'évader. Lille Flandres, je n'ai pas envie de courir pour attraper le RER de 18h13. Celui qui m'intéresse c'est celui de 12h16. Voire même le TGV de 19h20. Paris. Ça devient une obsession. L'oublier elle aussi. Pour fermer les yeux et se reposer un instant. S'être fatiguée de soi-même. Ne plus supporter sa voix. D'où elle sort celle-là ? D'où viennent ces intonations ? Le naturel, j'veux bien, mais s'il ressemble à ça je ne signe pas. Bref. Au final ne refuser qu'un seul oubli. Parce qu'il ne m'intéresse pas. Et puis même si c'était le cas je ne suis pas sûre du tout de pouvoir l'assumer. Alors bon. Aller de l'avant sans s'empêcher de regarder en arrière.

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